I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
