Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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