don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
