ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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