It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
