I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
