She is in my trunk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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