Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize