this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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