Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
