i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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