lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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