Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
