i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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