i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
