I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
