It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
