But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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