sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
