oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
