forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
