so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
