first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How external is "for external use only"?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
