My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize