You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
