I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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