I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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