he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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