Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
