Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
