worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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