happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
