I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
