I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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