the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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