hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
