there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
