I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You did what with his pubic hair?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
