So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
