dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
