Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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