My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
nutella sex= disaster
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
