Dual....:-)
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
