Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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