it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My liver just had a heart attack.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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