Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize