It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
