I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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