just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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