At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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