I think i peed on brittanys purse
what day is it and did you see me today?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize