Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
