This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
