You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
