But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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