even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
