im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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