Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
why is half of my head shaved?
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