But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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