She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
