we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize