i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
