I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
